How To Create A Great Sex Life

Intuitive Engineering – Desire, Knowledge, Skills


Intuitive Engineering can propel you into a great sex life in no time. It does not matter if you have any experience yet, are fully experienced or believe you have tried it all.

You will be introduced to questions that need YOUR answers. Because as with everything it requires your decision to make it.

Just relax, none of the following content here is the right or wrong way to do it. It is a way of many and you will find just yours.

Stay with me, nothing grows without a solid foundation.


Our sex life is very much determined by our own ability to explore, to be curious and open.

Many of the elements below will intertwine and be a part of one another, but each element gives a unique benefit.

  • It requires the confidence of ourselves, to stand by our desire and own it, regardless of what anyone else’s opinion. 
    • Without the confidence, fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, and frustration will take over. This will limit the experience of our own desires and also limit the experience for our partner.
  • It requires self-knowledge, knowing how our body and mind works. Discover what we like, but also what we do not like and how to set limitations.
  • Trust is essential. With trust, we can open up, be ourselves and dare to see, give and receive.
    • When we fear our own desires and “wants” we close the door and will instead feel resistance, hurt, pain and perhaps even abused.
  • When curiosity is allowed to lead our attention, the moment is fresh, our action is spontaneous and new exciting experiences can arise.
  • Communication is the art of sex. To lead, to show, to give, to express, to follow, to understand. Every touch, every movement, every look, every feeling we wish to create, to give or to receive is needed to be communicated on one level or the other. Sex is an art of expression.
  • Respect is crucial and creates the continuous trust with each other.
  • Gentleness and Generosity are important elements when we interact with one another. Giving is half the receiving and by being gentle we do not cross any unsaid borders or limits, causing fear or abuse to be experienced.

Find out for your self what these words mean in action. Take a little time a see, what will a trustful person ask you about, how would they approach touching you. Same with gentleness and communication, take some time visualizing how you can do that or someone else could do it.

Your Questions

The next step in creating a great sex life is to build the desire by finding answers to the following questions. (Make also your own even better questions)

  • What do I desire from my sex life?
    • What kind of feelings do I like?
    • How can I stimulate different body areas to feel good?
      • Where and how can I learn more?
    • What can I do for my partner to make her/him feel good?
    • How far am I currently willing to go?
  • What do I already know, that I like to?
    • How can I communicate that to my partner?
    • How can I find out what my partner likes?
  • Am I confident and gentle enough to feel my way around?
    • How do I handle, not to know what he/she likes?
    • How do I handle it myself to find out what I like?
    • Can I say no and communicate respectfully of my boundaries?
  • Am I open to exploring sex as it is, or do I have already set assumptions of what it should be or not be?
    • What can I bring into my sex life?
    • What kind of partner do I want to be?
    • What kind of partner do I want to have?
  • Why is sex important for me?

When you go through these questions, take a good time to visualize and see what skills you have, how it feels, what do you need to know to do so. Still keep a good flow, if you find yourself wandering or pondering, set a timer for about 1-3 minutes for each question. Just write everything that comes to mind for each and make it detailed later.

This is the initial part of creating a great sex life.

After this process, write down the next step you can see possible, for creating this desire. Can be to read a book, go play with yourself and discover what you like. Can be to find a date with your partner or a new one. Go buy some nice scents, new bed sheets or simply first give time to imagine and dream!

The above method is the Intuitive Engineering. It is simply tapping into your own wisdom of attracting experiences that you desire. You already have them, but focus and action are needed to attract it.


You are the one bringing the environment through the use of attention, focus, and attitude. Have your desired vision in mind. Allow its unfolding here and now!


Here are some suggestions for what I have found necessary to have an amazing sex life!

  • To take initiative, but also to give space.
  • To raise the energy, build attraction and play with it.
  • To tease and to please.
  • To massage and the ability to use hands for relaxation and stimulation
  • Touch and its different nuances: Firm, soft, gentle, rough. Fast, Slow and so on.
  • Stimulation of the genitals, holding the rhythm, observing my partner and follow instructions.
  • To verbalize my own likes and dislikes, to guide, to express what I want and will do.
  • Practice using tongue, to lick, to kiss and much more.
  • Experiment, finding new ways, toys, to have fun with exploring.
  • The ability to make myself and my partner feel comfortable, secure and wanted/desired.

Of course there are lots of skills to practice, but honestly, every time an opportunity for sex arises or is made, it is the curiosity and confidence to explore each other here and now that truly makes the moment worthwhile. Yes, orgasms and climaxes will find their way with such attitude. Both the physical ones as the whole energetical opening.


I thank you for investing and taking the time to pursue your desires. I am also curious to hear of your new adventures and success. Please share in the comments below.

OBS: If you for any reasons are experiencing problems or difficulties to do the suggested practices, I welcome you to contact me with your questions. Please feel free to try out my free coaching session, just write and we will book it right away.

Again, Thank you for sharing this moment with a free spirit’s view, on a great sex life and what that can be!

Brian Jacobsen